My Partner is Having Difficulty Maintaining an Erection, How Can I Help?
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION QUESTION:
My partner is 47 going on 48 and I am about 15 years his junior. The last 2 times that we have been intimate, he was unable to keep his erection. The most recent occurrence, he needed to take a couple of breaks. He would be inside of me then he would go soft.
We then took a break and cuddled for a while and then he got hard again and went back in but then got soft again. After the third time of this, he was able to ejaculate. And I am totally fine with that! I enjoy lovemaking with him just as much. Why does h need to do that (i.e. Stop in the middle)?
Is it me? Do I simply not appeal to him anymore :*(. I do want to talk to him about it but I don’t know how without upsetting him. All I can say is, without saying anything, he knows I know he is having difficulty maintaining an erection. What I do say is just that it’s ok and we do whatever feels natural or good at the moment.
I don’t know what else to do or say. Help!
DOCTOR ALSAYES ANSWER:
First of all, you must know how important it is for you both to communicate about this. It’s your intimate life and you must communicate about it freely and more often ensure a healthy relationship sexually and emotionally.
What your partner is going through is most probably an erectile dysfunction (ED) case. And ED has many factors and underlying causes, one of these aspects are the psychological aspect.
A psychological aspect can in form of anxiety or pressure to perform under heightened anxiety, or acute stress disorder, or Low sex drive due to an underlying cause.
Watching pornography and masturbation more frequently can also lead to erectile dysfunction during actual sex relation. Some studies have found that frequently masturbating to porn can contribute to ED by desensitizing you to certain imagery and physical intimacy
Alcohol drinking and tobacco or any smoking can also contribute to ED.
Health issues like high sugar level and high cholesterol can also lead to ED.
We must first identify the cause and then treat it accordingly. I advise your partner first to visit a doctor and make some evaluation tests to exclude any medical/physical causes, and if all tests came up negative then his doctor will advise him on how to deal with his stress and performance anxiety or he may refer him to a psychotherapist.
In the meanwhile, I advise him and you to establish a healthy lifestyle by exercising regularly, eating healthy food (low cholesterol), and stop or avoid alcohol and tobacco as they both contribute to ED. These steps will help him regain his normal erection faster.
I hope this answers your question.
Thanks, Dr. Alsayes